KELOLAND.com Blogs

Even though the numbers skew otherwise, the economy must be getting better…or is at least being viewed as an acceptable risk, the cost of doing business, whatever business we do in America these days.  Financial monkey business, mostly, as far as I can see. 

That Up, Up and Away balloon story in Colorado is a good case in point.  The latest rendition of what went on there involves some ancient Mayan calendar that predicts something cataclysmic will happen on December 12^th.  According to one of his confidants the father of the little boy who scared the hell out of everybody with his bogus balloon ride was trying to do two things: A) Get rich and famous with a reality TV show and B) Use the money to build a bunker for when the sun blows up on December 12^th. 

If the sun blows up, I don’t think you could build a bunker deep enough.  If you could, that alone would make you rich and famous and get you your own TV reality show.  There would nobody unincinerated enough to watch, and nothing to watch it on, but you would be in a good position.  Zero share, zero rating, zero demographics across the board to those who understand TV ratings.  I never did.  I was just happy when mine was bigger than theirs.  Size does count. 

I figure the Mayan calendar bunch is the same crew that had nothing else to do but get worked up about the potential computer glitch of Y2K.  I know people who are still working through their stock of canned beans left over from that one.  And I’m sure the Mayan calendar is technologically vastly superior to any computer glitch.  Advice from a bunch of people who couldn’t withstand the rigors of their own primitive civilization.  Yeah, you want to take their predictions to the bank. 

Let’s whip ahead several thousands of years.  Some expert is telling us…our business leaders, mostly…that we have had stunning growth, that our major enemy is getting fat, dumb and happy about it.  Our population has more than doubled since I breezed into town wondering what Wayne Pritchard was all about.  No Mayan calendar or computer model forecast that little growth spurt. 

I like to read the fine print in these little surveys, the last paragraph that usually sums up the whole thing.  This guy says young people are shuffling jobs every year…on the current Gregorian calendar…that they are making their moves based on quality of life issues, like “How little do I have to work for how much pay?”  Okay, that’s my interp.

The little asterisk there must have South Dakota’s “labor on the cheap” entrepreneurs smiling, grinning from ear to ear.  Our per capita income isn’t growing as fast as it is in the rest of the country, even in a re-pression.  But, Ma, look at what that does for our business climate!  Now that’s quality of life!  Oh, well.  If the Mayans are right, I won’t have to shop for Christmas gifts.  If the Sioux Falls expert is right, I won’t have the money to buy them, anyway.  A good break all around. 

The sun is blazing ominously.  I'm going to dump last night's lobster remains over the cliff to the gulls and crows and head for Bar Harbor for the day.  Hey, Barack, could you speed up that latest stimulus check for us beggers on Social Security?  If I had that, I could maybe stretch my stay here until the sun blows up.  December isn't that far away.